Set Your Hand to the Plough: Practical Advice for Gospel Ministers
#2 Remember your family
Anyone entering the ministry has got to remember their family. It’s an obvious point when you say it, but almost everyone misses it. The ministry belongs to the minister. The family doesn’t go into the ministry—the wife doesn’t go into the ministry, the children don’t go into the ministry—the man does. The man is called, and his family goes with him and supports him in the work. The minister makes many sacrifices, but it is his ministry. One of the hardest things for a minister’s wife and children is that they are called to support the work of the ministry, without it being their own personal calling.
The Family Bears a Unique Cost
As ministers, we see and experience things our families do not. We carry a vision of the work that we can only partially share with them. It would be impossible and inappropriate to share the fullness of pastoral ministry with them! Yet, they are always with us. They bear many costs and in physical terms, they receive few benefits.
We must never forget this reality. We need to constantly show our family they are valued. We must support them, encourage them, and where it is necessary – defend them.
Standing with Your Family in Trials
There will be times when the very church you minister turns on your family. Sadly, this happens. When it does, we must make it clear to our family that we stand with them. We support them and will be with them through the trial—even if the pain comes from the very church we serve. Do not forget that God gives you the responsibility to minister to your family, regardless of whether you are called to ministry or not. Many fail to serve Christ in the home under the conviction that serving Christ in the church is more important. On the contrary, we must bend the knee before Christ as Lord, seeking his grace to fulfil the difficult calling of leadership in the church and home.
Our Duty in the Home and the Church
In a tribute to his wife after 26 years of marriage, Tom Ascol helpfully notes the importance of rightly ordering the priorities God gives the minister, he says:
“When I get these priorities out of line then I inevitably hinder my ability to fulfill my responsibilities as I ought in any of them. If I am more devoted to my church than I am to my children and wife, then I will fail them all. And if I am more devoted to Donna than I am to Christ, I will unavoidably fail her as a husband. She knows this and believes it. And she has been faithful in calling me back to reorient my thinking on more than one occasion through the years. In this way, before she is my wife, Donna is my sister in Christ, and by taking her calling seriously, she has immensely helped to stay the course.” ¹
As ministers, we must recognise that Christ has given us duties in the home and the church. To confuse or re-order these things will lead us to failure in both spheres of duty.
At the Close
If we fail to care for, provide for, and protect our families—especially in spiritual regards—we lose everything. If we do not nurture our home, the ministry falls apart. We must remember our family. We must love them, appreciate them, encourage them, and be a blessing to them. The ministry may belong to us, but the family bears a unique share of the cost.
Footnotes
¹ Tom Ascol, A Tribute to my Wife of 26 Years (Founders Ministries, Accessed 11/06/2025): https://founders.org/articles/a-tribute-to-my-wife-of-26-years/
Oliver Allmand-Smith
Pastor of Trinity Grace Church, UK;
Trustee of International Reformed
Baptist Seminary, Mansfield, TX
